I stood in the rain.
I don’t mean figuratively.
I literally stood in the pouring rain.
My house was just behind me.
Shelter only an arms-length away.
But I just stood there.
Taking in this spiritual cleansing from God.
I stood emotionally, my face raised to the sun.
I stood in the rain.
Cars drove past frequently.
I know they must have thought me crazy.
But for the first time, with my face raised to the sky,
and the cool raindrops landing on my nose,
before gently streaming down the side of my face,
I no longer cared what anyone thought.
Their thoughts had nothing to do with me.
I didn’t have time to care,
I was too immersed in the glory of God,
which was now soaking through my clothes and into my skin.
I was being covered with the holy spirit,
and it felt cool,
And it made me think of all the years that I wasted.
Wasted worrying about the weight of my body instead of the weight of my contributions.
Wasted caring about what others thought of me, rather than God himself.
Wasted watching televised lies instead of being present with true blessings.
Wasted feeling sorry for myself instead of actively loving myself.
My praise was quiet.
My joy laid dormant.
But in this moment,
as I stood in the rain,
I felt waves of bliss.
I felt like a flower just opening its pedals.
A newborn baby taking her first stretch.
I felt like the breeze that blows through a girl’s hair,
when she flies high on the swings.
I felt like the taste of watermelon,
so watery and sweet.
I got lost in the moment,
a moment of freedom,
a free moment.
With no thought of money,
I gave no thought to responsibilities,
or body image,
or lost friends,
or lost time.
There was only me
And in that moment,
We were connected.
We were old friends who hadn’t seen each other in years.
I was like a child returning home from being abroad,
And my Father missed me,
And showered me,
With love and affection in a way that only he could.
And when he embraced me,
I saw the pyramids of Egypt,
I saw a field full of pink lilies
I saw a waterfall with wildflowers growing from the cracks in the cliff
I saw painted sunflowers on city streets,
I saw Jesus before he ascended
I looked down and saw an island ocean
With sting rays swimming beneath my feet.
I saw my daughter teasing the waves on a beach
I saw my husband smile after coming in first place
I saw my parents laughing together.
I saw myself.
I was standing in rain.
And I liked it.